A few days before our 62nd Independence Day, someone asked me this question over dinner during a treat. Needless to say like every other question ever asked to me in a restaurant this too was disposed of with spartan minimalism so that I could continue with the sumptous fare the host had to offer. However after a day of reading status messages that proclaimed their one-day patriotism I decided that the one word I had chosen back then needed a rethink. In hindsight I believe I should have chosen 2 words instead of one.
Ofcourse a pre-requisite to this would be the answer to the question 'What is India?'. On this ground although I already had a head-start. A week or so ago I had the good fortune of reading a Rushdie extract addressing the same question. For reasons I will go into later, I had decided back then India is simply the collective community which had fought for its freedom and achieved its bitter-sweet success 62 years ago on this same date. Of course by almost a clever bit of verbal jugglary I had managed to exclude our friendly neighbours, since they happen to enjoy an extra day of independence.
The need to go back to the British Raj in the quest for the identity of India is simple. Before the Raj there was no India. Ofcourse as Rushdie very aptly puts it there was a piece of land seperating Pakistan and Bangladesh but the political identity that defines India was conspicuous only by its absence. This need for a united India manifest it for the first time only when there was no other alternative to freedom from an unjust external rule. The only factor which did unite India of a cenury ago was not something internal to be found within but simply an external stimulus.
So then 62 years after ridding ourselves of our sole reason of unification the question that 'What Unites India' acquires even greater pertinance. This directly brings me to the first word that came to my mind. Sloth. To put simply what unites India is that we are too lazy to Balkanize. Ofcourse a lot of people might consider such a remark in really bad taste. The point being that every nation, community or ethnic group that ever needed freedom needed something to be free off. So what I mean to say is we prefer to stay as Indians and not as Hindus, Maharashtrians or Mumbaikars is simply because there is no reason to seperate. It is true that we dont have every thing we want, that iphone, everlasting prosperity and unshakeable peace of mind may still elude us. But none of them is good enough to float a nation-state of our own. In the absence of this good reason to seperate our sloth takes over and we are happy to remain as one.
What appeared to me then as an irrefutable argument, unfortunately had a fatal flaw which my nourishment deprived mind was unable to catch in the midst of dinner. The argument is plainly a symptomatic treatment (kind of like giving every person with a cold a dose of Tamiflu). The real question is why are we so content with what we have? The reason to this brings us a full circle to what I prefer to define as India. To reiterate India is that political entity became free of the British Raj on 15th August 1947. The reason I choose to ignore those who jumped the gun by a whole 24 hours is because it the India of the 15th August which finally adopted the Constitution we abide by. The reason why we are so happy with the things we have is that India we chose to create back then is an India of the rule of law. We choose to remain united inspite of our differences only because of the reassurance that someone wont be treated better just because they are different. I do not Balkanize because I realize that after all the effort I put into creating my very own Chiraagland I will end up living by the same rules that I live in India. Given my predisposed laziness I choose not to put in this wasted effort. So then I choose a second word to my argument: contentment.
In conclusion the next time someone asks you "What Unites India" in the middle of your dinner the reply is simply "How would a divided India make your life better?"
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
An Incoherent Mind and its 1000$ Toaster.
(Rant Alert: The travesty of a blog post to follow is rant. Generally this is what happens when I am angry. I yell at the top of my voice at everyone who will listen, or if I cant find a live audience I write something equally nasty for the literate few who can read. There may be some profanity)
Not so long ago in land very similar to our own lived a naive young prince unbeknownst to ways of this world. All he sought was a small chest from a land far far away. Little did know that it was guarded by a evil monster, well actually a corporation of evil monsters who had already planned to turn his dream into a nightmare hotter than Satan's fire.This is his story.
Well not really.This is just a story of an unsuspecting customer who bought what a certain company by the name HP (May the Good Lord [or the 330 million I believe in] sue their pants off) advertised to be a laptop. Little did the poor kid realize the engineering department at HP had put their green thinking hats on. They had designed the world's first battery powered portable toaster which would let you check your email. Realising that it would be hard to sell it to any market segment from right wing scientologists to morbidly obese transvestites, they decided to label this awesome new line of products as the dv series laptops. Now the real trick lay in making it look and feel like a real laptop. So you had a CPU, the LCD, the other usual frills and add ons but the real trick was the GPU.
So how did the infinite genius design this masterpiece? Well it was really simple. A leaked HP memo provides a stepwise set of instructions to follow for such design.
1. Tear your engineering degree into little pieces until you cant make the pieces any smaller.
2. Order a litre of beer for every piece of paper you now have.
3. Sit at your desk and drink it all at one go.
4. Now start work.
So what was the result?
A brand new HP toaster (or make believe laptop) that has a GPU but not a heatsink! Oh no but it doesnt end there. There is only one cooling fan for both a dual core processor and the GPU. The GPU does not even touch the metal sink, all it is in contact with is some silly heat pad.
So what's the big deal you ask? It must a tad hot. Big deal. Well it does get a bit hot. Sometimes hot enough to boil water. Some of my friends inform me thats the temperature at which most of my food cooks. Heres a screenshot for your benefit.
Well a little heat I am fine with, but the real fun starts when the substrate on which the GPU is built begins to fail at these thermal stresses. So what does this gibberish translate to in simple English? I get six screens for the price of one. Yup, thats right, the GPU malfunctions at this temperature and renders 6 screens. I have not yet mustered the courage to take a screenshot when that happens but soon I will.
Ya I know what you're thinking, so what you have 6 screens atleast you can continue work! Apart from the fact that you are clinically retarted if that was what you thought, the other important issue is a complete GPU failure in which the screens either blanks out or is filled with complete gibberish. Also add a few Blue Screens of Death when the CPU overheats because of the single fan and yes my life is set. I am the not so proud owner of a 1000$ toaster.
Btw HP has a fantastic customer service policy you might want know about as well. The combined experience of few other toaster owners hints at the following action plan at the HP end.
1. Tell user to do a ridiculous bios update which keeps the fans on at all times.
2. If problem persists refuse to acknowledge it and make the customer perform a series of completely unrelated tasks such as jumping through fiery hoops.
3.Wait till the warranty runs out.
4. Ask him to pay 400$ for a repair and then offer a 200$ repair and sucker him into agreeing.
5. Once he is suckered replace the old faulty motherboard with a new faulty motherboard with the exact same flaw. UNDERCLOCK the GPU below the HP official rating for the processor.
(HP has this policy that your case is upgraded if the same flaw recurrs within 3 months and your laptop must be replace after 3 upgrades. So the repair is aimed at getting the system to run for 3 more months)
6. Repeat process till customer moves to a different company, runs out of cash or commits suicide.
If you have just realised that you too are the proud owner of an HP toaster here's what you can do.
1. Visit the following link and get yourself informed: www.hplies.com
2. Inform other unfortunate souls like yourself.
3. Sue the bastards.
A Not So Proud Owner of an HP laptop,
Model: dv2500
GPU: nVidia 8400 Ms
Not so long ago in land very similar to our own lived a naive young prince unbeknownst to ways of this world. All he sought was a small chest from a land far far away. Little did know that it was guarded by a evil monster, well actually a corporation of evil monsters who had already planned to turn his dream into a nightmare hotter than Satan's fire.This is his story.
Well not really.This is just a story of an unsuspecting customer who bought what a certain company by the name HP (May the Good Lord [or the 330 million I believe in] sue their pants off) advertised to be a laptop. Little did the poor kid realize the engineering department at HP had put their green thinking hats on. They had designed the world's first battery powered portable toaster which would let you check your email. Realising that it would be hard to sell it to any market segment from right wing scientologists to morbidly obese transvestites, they decided to label this awesome new line of products as the dv series laptops. Now the real trick lay in making it look and feel like a real laptop. So you had a CPU, the LCD, the other usual frills and add ons but the real trick was the GPU.
So how did the infinite genius design this masterpiece? Well it was really simple. A leaked HP memo provides a stepwise set of instructions to follow for such design.
1. Tear your engineering degree into little pieces until you cant make the pieces any smaller.
2. Order a litre of beer for every piece of paper you now have.
3. Sit at your desk and drink it all at one go.
4. Now start work.
So what was the result?
A brand new HP toaster (or make believe laptop) that has a GPU but not a heatsink! Oh no but it doesnt end there. There is only one cooling fan for both a dual core processor and the GPU. The GPU does not even touch the metal sink, all it is in contact with is some silly heat pad.
So what's the big deal you ask? It must a tad hot. Big deal. Well it does get a bit hot. Sometimes hot enough to boil water. Some of my friends inform me thats the temperature at which most of my food cooks. Heres a screenshot for your benefit.
Well a little heat I am fine with, but the real fun starts when the substrate on which the GPU is built begins to fail at these thermal stresses. So what does this gibberish translate to in simple English? I get six screens for the price of one. Yup, thats right, the GPU malfunctions at this temperature and renders 6 screens. I have not yet mustered the courage to take a screenshot when that happens but soon I will.
Ya I know what you're thinking, so what you have 6 screens atleast you can continue work! Apart from the fact that you are clinically retarted if that was what you thought, the other important issue is a complete GPU failure in which the screens either blanks out or is filled with complete gibberish. Also add a few Blue Screens of Death when the CPU overheats because of the single fan and yes my life is set. I am the not so proud owner of a 1000$ toaster.
Btw HP has a fantastic customer service policy you might want know about as well. The combined experience of few other toaster owners hints at the following action plan at the HP end.
1. Tell user to do a ridiculous bios update which keeps the fans on at all times.
2. If problem persists refuse to acknowledge it and make the customer perform a series of completely unrelated tasks such as jumping through fiery hoops.
3.Wait till the warranty runs out.
4. Ask him to pay 400$ for a repair and then offer a 200$ repair and sucker him into agreeing.
5. Once he is suckered replace the old faulty motherboard with a new faulty motherboard with the exact same flaw. UNDERCLOCK the GPU below the HP official rating for the processor.
(HP has this policy that your case is upgraded if the same flaw recurrs within 3 months and your laptop must be replace after 3 upgrades. So the repair is aimed at getting the system to run for 3 more months)
6. Repeat process till customer moves to a different company, runs out of cash or commits suicide.
If you have just realised that you too are the proud owner of an HP toaster here's what you can do.
1. Visit the following link and get yourself informed: www.hplies.com
2. Inform other unfortunate souls like yourself.
3. Sue the bastards.
A Not So Proud Owner of an HP laptop,
Model: dv2500
GPU: nVidia 8400 Ms
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A PICuliar problem!
Long long ago when I created this blog I had resolved to not post anything which relates to how much fight I put into getting Object X up and running if more than 80% of the world doesn't give a damn what Object X is. However the events of last night do deserve a mention somewhere, lest I ever forget them! (Although I am sure it wont happen.)
So we begin this tale of timeless tragedy at around 8 pm on the 13th of May 2009. For some god-forsaken reason I decided to get the HiTech C compiler for PIC16 running. (Don't ask why or what). Well things began on a rather promising note and in under 15 min I was able to blink a few LEDs. Enthused by this (seemingly) successful result I decided to get the UART interrupt running and Voila it refuses to work. Finally things were getting back to normal: codes not working and uCs refusing to do as they were told. However the real issue was that I had the (almost) same code up and running in assembly. All I had done was translate it to C.
Thus began the Herculean task of finding something to lay the blame on. So the first thing I did was to read the 2 codes again and conclude that they were indeed the same. After this the only logical thing was to turn to the panacea of 21th century problems - Google. Unfortunately over an hour of massaging different search queries couldn't get the required result. On a normal day this would be a warning sign that this isnt a real problem and I had messed up somewhere but unfortunately not yesterday.
It was then time to tinker around with the code, this was slighlty more helpful than googling and I figured out that the send portion of the code was working but the recieve interrupt was being called an infinite number of times. So far so good. Now I decided to read the datasheet once more. (Another half an hour down the drain) At this point for some god-forsaken reason I was sure it was the compiler's fault.
With great conviction and a little help from Kartik I found a disassembler for the 2 hex files.
(For those of you who have battled through all this nonsense and have understood the last line I can see the incredulous looks on your faces). Thus began the grand task of studying the 2 disassemblies. I dont know why but the HiTech C compiler puts this huge chunk of "start-up" code but after an hour of reading the disassembly I finally figured out what the "start-up" code did only to realise it was absolutely nothing. Then came the real code, this was much faster . In half an hour I realised the cause of this affliction. The assembly file I had the written used a btss somewhere but the C-code dissassembly used a btsc. (For the PIC16 instruction set uninitiated they are Bit Test Skip if Set and Bit Test Skip if Clear). As is obvious I had mistranslated the assembly and forgotten to put a not where it was deserved. Ofcourse if this were it the whole episode could have been excused but as most of you can conclude by now, there is more.
Well all the UART transmits worked perfectly but I was still getting infinite receive interrupts. However wisened by the events that had just transpired it was evident that it was mostly my own doing that stuff was not working. So another read of the codes was called for and yes once again the culprit was easily (ya right!) tracked down. In a hurry I had set the entire port with the LEDs as output. By a cruel twist of fate the UART was on the same port. So I made the receive pin of the UART an input and all was fine in wonderland. I am yet to check why the data direction of the UART pins matters, but maybe later.
So after aroung 6 hours of more or less pointless effort the UART which was happily working in assembly also works in C.
Whats the moral of the story you ask?
If you cant find the fault you are looking for on google and if it takes more than an hour of debugging to find an error it means YOU have made a mistake.
So we begin this tale of timeless tragedy at around 8 pm on the 13th of May 2009. For some god-forsaken reason I decided to get the HiTech C compiler for PIC16 running. (Don't ask why or what). Well things began on a rather promising note and in under 15 min I was able to blink a few LEDs. Enthused by this (seemingly) successful result I decided to get the UART interrupt running and Voila it refuses to work. Finally things were getting back to normal: codes not working and uCs refusing to do as they were told. However the real issue was that I had the (almost) same code up and running in assembly. All I had done was translate it to C.
Thus began the Herculean task of finding something to lay the blame on. So the first thing I did was to read the 2 codes again and conclude that they were indeed the same. After this the only logical thing was to turn to the panacea of 21th century problems - Google. Unfortunately over an hour of massaging different search queries couldn't get the required result. On a normal day this would be a warning sign that this isnt a real problem and I had messed up somewhere but unfortunately not yesterday.
It was then time to tinker around with the code, this was slighlty more helpful than googling and I figured out that the send portion of the code was working but the recieve interrupt was being called an infinite number of times. So far so good. Now I decided to read the datasheet once more. (Another half an hour down the drain) At this point for some god-forsaken reason I was sure it was the compiler's fault.
With great conviction and a little help from Kartik I found a disassembler for the 2 hex files.
(For those of you who have battled through all this nonsense and have understood the last line I can see the incredulous looks on your faces). Thus began the grand task of studying the 2 disassemblies. I dont know why but the HiTech C compiler puts this huge chunk of "start-up" code but after an hour of reading the disassembly I finally figured out what the "start-up" code did only to realise it was absolutely nothing. Then came the real code, this was much faster . In half an hour I realised the cause of this affliction. The assembly file I had the written used a btss somewhere but the C-code dissassembly used a btsc. (For the PIC16 instruction set uninitiated they are Bit Test Skip if Set and Bit Test Skip if Clear). As is obvious I had mistranslated the assembly and forgotten to put a not where it was deserved. Ofcourse if this were it the whole episode could have been excused but as most of you can conclude by now, there is more.
Well all the UART transmits worked perfectly but I was still getting infinite receive interrupts. However wisened by the events that had just transpired it was evident that it was mostly my own doing that stuff was not working. So another read of the codes was called for and yes once again the culprit was easily (ya right!) tracked down. In a hurry I had set the entire port with the LEDs as output. By a cruel twist of fate the UART was on the same port. So I made the receive pin of the UART an input and all was fine in wonderland. I am yet to check why the data direction of the UART pins matters, but maybe later.
So after aroung 6 hours of more or less pointless effort the UART which was happily working in assembly also works in C.
Whats the moral of the story you ask?
If you cant find the fault you are looking for on google and if it takes more than an hour of debugging to find an error it means YOU have made a mistake.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Dance of Democracy
So it is election time once again, and this time around I get to make a difference.
But, before we begin the the usual cliches of 'How true power lies in the hands of the masses', 'How politicians have ruined this nation' and 'How politics is a profession and not social service' lets look at things from a different angle.
Therefore without much further ado we present:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maximum Time: 30 min
Additional Notes: This is a closed notes, closed book and closed internet examination.
1. Do you have a Voter's Card? (2 marks)
2. Have you checked your serial number in the electoral rolls? (5 marks)
3. Where is the polling booth where your name appears? (5 marks)
4. When does your constituency go to polls? (3 marks)
5. Name your Loksabha Constituency? (10 marks)
6. Name your Legislative Assembly Constituency? (5 marks)
7. How many candidates have registered from your constituency?
(10 marks for exact answer, 7 for +-2, 5 for +- 5, 0 otherwise)
8. How many of these are independents?
(5 marks for exact answer, 3 for +-5, 0 otherwise)
9. Can you name 5 political parties contesting your constituency?
(10 marks for 5, 5 for 4, 0 for 3/2, -5 otherwise)
10. Can you name any 5 candidates from your constituency?
(15 marks for 5, 10 for 4, 5 for 3, 0 otherwise)
12. Can you name atleast 1 independent?
(5 marks)
13. How many candidates have convictions or have been accused in criminal cases from your constituency?
(10 marks for exact number, 5 for +- 1, 0 otherwise)
14. Have you read the actual text of any of the election manifestos?
(15 marks for 3 or more, 10 marks for 2, 5 marks for 1, 0 otherwise)
End of Quiz
(Best of Luck)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really dont know whether all the contestants from my constituency are qualified to govern, but I do know that I barely managed to pass when asked whether I was fit to vote. So the next time you decide to pass the buck to your neighbourhood errant, apathectic politician do ask yourself am I any different?
Signing off,
Lok Sabha Constituency Number: 30
Legislative Assenbly Constituency Number: 181
Voter List Number: 170
Serial Number: 418
But, before we begin the the usual cliches of 'How true power lies in the hands of the masses', 'How politicians have ruined this nation' and 'How politics is a profession and not social service' lets look at things from a different angle.
Therefore without much further ado we present:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 15th General Elections Pop Quiz
Maximum Marks: 100 Passing Marks: 35Maximum Time: 30 min
Additional Notes: This is a closed notes, closed book and closed internet examination.
1. Do you have a Voter's Card? (2 marks)
2. Have you checked your serial number in the electoral rolls? (5 marks)
3. Where is the polling booth where your name appears? (5 marks)
4. When does your constituency go to polls? (3 marks)
5. Name your Loksabha Constituency? (10 marks)
6. Name your Legislative Assembly Constituency? (5 marks)
7. How many candidates have registered from your constituency?
(10 marks for exact answer, 7 for +-2, 5 for +- 5, 0 otherwise)
8. How many of these are independents?
(5 marks for exact answer, 3 for +-5, 0 otherwise)
9. Can you name 5 political parties contesting your constituency?
(10 marks for 5, 5 for 4, 0 for 3/2, -5 otherwise)
10. Can you name any 5 candidates from your constituency?
(15 marks for 5, 10 for 4, 5 for 3, 0 otherwise)
12. Can you name atleast 1 independent?
(5 marks)
13. How many candidates have convictions or have been accused in criminal cases from your constituency?
(10 marks for exact number, 5 for +- 1, 0 otherwise)
14. Have you read the actual text of any of the election manifestos?
(15 marks for 3 or more, 10 marks for 2, 5 marks for 1, 0 otherwise)
End of Quiz
(Best of Luck)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really dont know whether all the contestants from my constituency are qualified to govern, but I do know that I barely managed to pass when asked whether I was fit to vote. So the next time you decide to pass the buck to your neighbourhood errant, apathectic politician do ask yourself am I any different?
Signing off,
Lok Sabha Constituency Number: 30
Legislative Assenbly Constituency Number: 181
Voter List Number: 170
Serial Number: 418
Saturday, April 25, 2009
And we're back!
In the last 2 days 8 chats on Gtalk began with "whats new?"
"Nothing much" I meekly replied. Thats when I decided to do something about it.
Unfortunately given that my exams just got over and coupled with the fact that I am exceptionally lazy, there was precious little I was willing to do. As always things have a way of working out and an old friend pointed very politely pointed out I have a blog. So it was posting time.
Thats when it occured to me that I had changed my email id. Yup after 5 years 2.9979245e8@gmail.com (Ya I know its wrong by 8 m/s but what the heck) had lost some of its charm. I had to shift this blog to the more sober chiraag.juvekar@gmail.com. Luckily I had already ruined a nice afternoon typing balderdash into the google accounts password box in a desperate bid to recollect the password my mind refused to remember. So armed with the password that I had recovered after a notable 23 attempts I set out refurbish this dying blog-space.
"So what's new?" you ask, is it?
A new theme for the tasteful lot.
A new name to lift the curse of eternal damnation.
A decent address that I did manage to find. (Well awgn.blogspot.com is being squatted by some random chinese guy)
And a not so well thought out resolution to post atleast once a week.
"Nothing much" I meekly replied. Thats when I decided to do something about it.
Unfortunately given that my exams just got over and coupled with the fact that I am exceptionally lazy, there was precious little I was willing to do. As always things have a way of working out and an old friend pointed very politely pointed out I have a blog. So it was posting time.
Thats when it occured to me that I had changed my email id. Yup after 5 years 2.9979245e8@gmail.com (Ya I know its wrong by 8 m/s but what the heck) had lost some of its charm. I had to shift this blog to the more sober chiraag.juvekar@gmail.com. Luckily I had already ruined a nice afternoon typing balderdash into the google accounts password box in a desperate bid to recollect the password my mind refused to remember. So armed with the password that I had recovered after a notable 23 attempts I set out refurbish this dying blog-space.
"So what's new?" you ask, is it?
A new theme for the tasteful lot.
A new name to lift the curse of eternal damnation.
A decent address that I did manage to find. (Well awgn.blogspot.com is being squatted by some random chinese guy)
And a not so well thought out resolution to post atleast once a week.
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